The Effects of the Emotional
Residue
By
Richard Flint
Have you ever noticed how certain events seem to
emotionally find a corner of your life and just lay there stealing energy?
We even tell ourselves we are beyond the effect they have had on our life,
BUT the reality is they are still there, emotionally affecting us, mentally
distracting us and physically draining us.
Here we are in December almost three months after the
terrorist attacks of September 11, YET many are still wrestling with the
emotional residue. There is really no way to accurately define the trauma
this event has brought to the lives of so many. Several of my friends who
are in the counseling world find themselves daily dealing with the emotional
discord September 11 brought to the lives of so many.
Reality is,
September 11 changed our world forever!
A nation that thought it was invincible found itself
having to face the fact we do not have a protective shield around us that
harbors us from the rest of the world. Those who want to hurt us can get to
us.
The media didn't and hasn't helped us move on. During the
days following September 11, they were such a positive part of us moving
forward. Then, they slipped back into their negative world of reporting. I
believe their scare approach to biological terrorism gave some of the ugly
people in our society all they needed to create the anthrax scare. I really
don't think it is directly related to the terrorist attack of September 11.
I wish the media would understand all the ramifications to their negative
journalism. They have become part of the emotional paralyzing of our nation.
Reality is, most of us don't understand a terrorist
culture that can take another human life and rejoice in what it has done.
That is so far from our mind set that it seems inconceivable. YET, we know
those people are out there, and they hate us.
Reality is, many are living on an emotional edge waiting
for the next event to happen. I know of one family where the wife has
forbidden her husband from traveling. She also took her two sons out of
college and brought them home. She wanted to be close so when the next big
tragedy happened, they would be together.
Truth is, many are living with their internal emotional
storage closet filled with the residue September 11 has created. Their once
secure, comfortable, definable world has been turned upside down. I wish
they understood how dangerous this is to their health.
Stress is a natural part of life and is good for us to a
point! That point is when the events that have and are creating the stress
is controlling our life, we are a prisoner. When we become a participant in
the emotionally negative event, rather than a positive performer in moving
forward, we are dangerous to ourselves and all we share time and space with.
Marilyn Roeke, my Vice President of Sales and Marketing,
and I talk daily about the conversations she is having with people. It
amazes me the number of "Leaders" who have put their life and the lives of
their people on hold. They have slipped from a proactive person to someone
who seems to be emotionally paralyzed. It is like their mind is
nonfunctional, and they are living controlled by the emotion of uncertainty.
We have got to get the
emotional dust buster out and clean up the emotional residue of September
11. Leadership must stand up, dust themselves off and get back to leading
the people, rather than participating in the emotions that are holding them
hostage. The behavior of people is consistent
with the presence of those who have accepted the responsibility of
leadership.
I don't care what your political persuasion is. You have
to be impressed with the straight forward positive message of President
George Bush. He has stepped to the forefront and focused on moving
forward, rather than standing in the middle of the residue and being
paralyzed. This is not saying we should forget what happened. On the
contrary! We should use the events of September 11 as a rallying point to
strengthen our presence and move forward with a renewed spirit designed to
tell the world who we are, rather than painting a picture of us as a nation
swallowed up in emotional residue. We should be using this to stand for
something, rather than stand against a negative culture.
There is a vast difference between standing against
terrorism and standing together as a nation. The difference is the agenda,
the mission and the message. Our presence should be to show who we are as a
people and a nation, not simply what we are against. This demands
clearing the emotional residue, standing strong through leadership and
moving forward with an even stronger positive presence.
The events of September 11 are a test for all leaders. It
will either show their strengths or expose their lack of leadership skills.
It will either bring them to the forefront or hide them in the pack of
reactive people. It will either send a message that says "we can" or a
message that says "we cannot".
Leadership cannot change the
events of September 11, BUT they can come forward with a presence that says
we are leaders and we will take our people
forward with a renewed spirit of togetherness and positive presence!
It is time to face what has happened
with a mind set that takes people forward, rather than allowing them to hide
in their emotional caves. That is the responsibility of leadership. We don't
need leaders who are pulling their heads in; we need leaders who are
standing tall with a message about who we are! When leadership leads,
the people have a positive reason to move beyond the emotional residue.
Richard Flint, for ten years,
Richard has been working as a coach to many of North America’s
leading companies, leaders and salespeople. His coaching
approach is different than most. It is more about the behavior
of people and/or organization, rather than the wrongs. His
belief is behavior never lies. He teaches that the essence of
who a person is, is demonstrated through their behavior and not
their words. Richard is a master at examining behavior and
taking people from contradiction to consistency.
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