The Old You
By
Richard Flint
Recently, I received a phone call from a young lady
who was desperate for help. She has been married for several years and
her marriage is going through tremendous challenge. Her conversation
fit into the writing of my book Breaking Free.
She said, “It is so hard to have a
conversation with my husband. It seems like I trigger a switch inside
him and it brings out this person I don’t know.”
I understand what she was saying. Inside each
person lives two distinct personas striving to have a control of your life.
The “Old You” is the persona that keeps you looking backward. The “Old You”
is the part of you that doesn’t want things in your life to be any different
than they have been. This persona controls you through the negative
emotional family. Each time you want to break out of the Circle of
Sameness and take your life to the next adventure, the “Old You” will raise
it’s ugly head, slap you with a negative emotion designed to take the
excitement away and work to paralyze you with the strongest of the negative
emotional family—fear.
This is why most people repeat their pains; this is
why most people hold onto their hurts; this is why most people keep
repeating their frustrations. Your life is simply a series of tapes
your mind plays. These tapes are triggered by the emotions you bring
to any event. As long as the “Old You” is in control of your life, it
will constantly send you backward and pull out all negatives from your
yesterday.
Think about it! How many times have you told
yourself I am going to do this, only to find a reason to not do it?
How many times has your excitement been stolen by reflecting on a past
event? This is the “Old You” at work. The “Old You” doesn’t want
your life to get better; the “Old You” doesn’t want you to experience
growth. Each time you take a step forward the “Old You” has to give up
some control. Most people are not controlled by what is happening in
their life; they are controlled by what has happened in their
yesterday. As long as yesterday is their living room for today, they
are a prisoner in their self-constructed cell. Their life is not about
getting better; it is about playing the old negative tapes of yesterday.
As long as these tapes are the filtering system for the events of their
life, they will repeat the negatives and miss the positives in their life.
The result is a life that lacks self confidence, is unwilling to take any
risk, can only see what is wrong, is constantly in crisis, can only talk
about how unfair life is and always has someone or something to blame for
their circumstance.
The other persona is the “New You.” This is
the light in the midst of the darkness the “Old You” stretches over your
life. This is the part of you that is always looking for the next
adventure. The “New You” is about solution, not blame. The “New
You” wants to focus on the possibilities of today, rather than the pains of
yesterday.
The challenge the “New You” faces is having the
strength to stand stronger than the “Old You” that has ruled your life for
years. The “New You” is your mind at its best. It is your mind
seeing the possibilities, sketching ideas in your imagination and coloring
your life with positive emotional thoughts.
Can you see why the “Old You” doesn’t want the “New
You” to have control? This “New You” is the archenemy of the “Old
You.” It will do anything it can to make sure the “New You” doesn’t
gain strength. Its arsenal of negative emotional situations is huge.
It has had years to build its negative presence in your life. Don’t
underestimate it’s strength: it has been holding you back and knows how to
beat you back when you have those moments where you want to reach forward.
Every time you procrastinate, the “Old You” has won. Every time you
allow the negative to stop you, the “Old You” has won. Every time you
are controlled by doubt and worry, the “Old You” has won. Every time
the “Old You” wins a battle in your life, you become weaker and move further
away from living your life to it’s fullest.
Hey, your greatest challenge is not in knowing what
to do; it is in choosing who is going to decide the direction—the “Old You”
or the “New You”. One of these will always design the journey you
take.
Richard Flint, for ten years,
Richard has been working as a coach to many of North America’s
leading companies, leaders and salespeople. His coaching
approach is different than most. It is more about the behavior
of people and/or organization, rather than the wrongs. His
belief is behavior never lies. He teaches that the essence of
who a person is, is demonstrated through their behavior and not
their words. Richard is a master at examining behavior and
taking people from contradiction to consistency.
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